Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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