i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize