I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize