after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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