I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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