i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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