just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We are two peas in an std pod
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
