WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize