is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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