is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
