Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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