I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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