Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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