We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
