i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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