There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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