My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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