What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
