Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
