Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
