I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize