I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Shame is for Republicans.
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