Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
