so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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