U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
pop tarts are not kleenex
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?