walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
