Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?