escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home