While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
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Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
That accounts for only three of the penises
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin