I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
