There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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