we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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