Your face is a jimmy john
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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