North Korea, Best Korea!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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