HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
