From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize