Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
