I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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