Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
