I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
