absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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