do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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