I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
