Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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