Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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