i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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