I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize