After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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