i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
