i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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