Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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