Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize