I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
