YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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