im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
