We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
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you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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