the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
