I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
