every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
