So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My feet surprised me
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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